


Shaming the Boyfriends Part 1&2

by orphan_account



Series: CaptainEnterprise (Star Trek Youtube AU) [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Poor Bones, Silly, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 15:20:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10596744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jim posts two videos on his YouTube channel that highlight his boyfriends' inability to do things. Leonard and Spock are unamused.





	1. Bones Can't Cook

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek

Jim appeared on the screen free hand filming. “Captain’s Log number 49, Today Bones thought he’d make dinner since he’s off for the first time in forever and has the time to spoil us.”

Jim looks unimpressed into the camera. He moves further down the hall and stops outside the kitchen door. 

“Guys, Bones can’t cook,” Jim says turning the camera around.

Leonard is in the middle of the kitchen with a confused look on his face. He has a tablet leaning against a mixing bowl and appears to be reading instructions. He shoots a lost look at the whisk in his hand before putting it in the mixing bowl. There is flour smudged on his nose.

Jim sighs. “He has to use the whisk because when he used the mixer, well, it went everywhere,” Jim says turning the camera to show a section of counter that was splattered with ingredients. “I don’t even know what he’s making. I’ve been banned from the kitchen.”

About the time Jim finishes talking, whatever was cooking in the pot on the stove chose that moment to boil over.

“Oh, Bonesy, you try so hard. I think I’m enjoying his failure too much,” Jim says as Leonard finally figures out how to calm the boiling pot. “Poor, baby, he hasn’t even realized he’s charcoaled the meat.”

Jim sighs as he takes in the slump of Leonard’s shoulders. He walks into the kitchen despite the ban and places the camera on the counter where it would still film the two men.

Leonard starts when Jim wraps his arms around him. “Damnit Jim, I told you to stay out of the kitchen. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well consider me surprised Bones, the fire alarm hasn’t gone off.” Jim says.

Leonard shoots him an unamused look and Jim rolls his eyes. “Bones,” Jim started, “Today is your day off. It shouldn’t be filled with so much stress.”

Leonard still looks petulant as Jim takes to massaging his shoulders. “Why don’t you go take a nap. I’ll cook dinner for my wonderful boyfriends who deserve breaks. When Spock gets home we will eat my lovely dinner, watch a movie, take a bath, and have sex.”

Leonard looks for a moment as if he would still put up a fight but finally he relaxes into Jim’s arms. “Okay, Princess,” Leonard concedes before dropping a kiss on Jim’s forehead.

Leonard was halfway to the door before he turns back. “Don’t think I don’t know you were filming my failure by the way.”

Jim laughs before saluting the camera and ending the video.


	2. Spock shouldn't babysit

Jim was free hand filming as he ran into a doorway. “Shit!” He whispered before righting the camera.

Jim cleared his throat. “Captain’s Long number 53, Leonard’s daughter Joanna is spending the week with us and while Bones was supposed to be off, he was called in for a major motor vehicle accident. I was grocery shopping at the time he got the call, so Joanna and Spock have been alone together for the past hour and a half.”

Jim panned the camera around to show the living room. Spock was laid out of the sofa with a shell-shocked look on his face. Joanna was covered in glitter make-up. On the coffee table was a spread of Spock’s high end make up and a few feet away from the end of the couch was an upturned monopoly board. It wasn’t clear if the reason for cards being all over the floor was due to a losing meltdown or an abandoned game of 52 card pick up.

Joanna was happily drawing all over Spock’s arm with a $40 eyeliner pencil. Spock didn’t appear to be functioning enough to care.

“I think Joanna may have found a button to turn off Spock’s brain.” Jim said. “Spock pitches a fit when I borrow his concealer and he’s let Joanna have free range with his makeup.”

Jim moved the camera to show the floor next to the coffee table. “I’m not sure who I’m pissed at right now, but I’m not happy that an expensive ass glitter palate is sitting on the floor. The only reason Bones and I feed Spock’s expensive makeup addiction is because we love him and he doesn’t waste it. Bones is going to lose it.”

Jim zoomed in with the camera to show glitter imbedded into the rug. “I’m pretty sure Spock won’t be babysitting again anytime soon, or getting new makeup for that matter. God, this is a train wreck.”

Joanna seemed to realize Jim had walked into the room. She turned to him with a sparkly purple and green smile. “Hey daddy Jim,” she said before happily turning back to Spock’s arm.

Spock jerks his head in Jim’s direction. “Ah, Jim. Would you mind offering assistance?” he asked.

The video went silent for a moment before Jim said, “I think I’ll take a nap. You’ll be fine till Leonard gets home, right?”

Jim turned around to Spock yelling his name. The video cut off with Jim laughing as he grabbed a washcloth.

**Author's Note:**

> Forgot to put this in the series...Look it was morning you can't expect too much from me.


End file.
